“As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them to your delight and benefit.” Emmanuel Teney
This quote makes me think of a movie I just watched called “Yes Man,” with Jim Carrey. Its about a man who always says “No” to everything, until he goes to this seminar and decides to start saying “Yes” to everything. He has all kinds of new experiences because he says “Yes” to life. To me saying “Yes” takes a step of faith – to say “Yes” to something you have no control over and to find great delight and benefit because you did say “Yes.”
A few years ago, my husband and I were involved in a marriage ministry. We were helping to teach a lesson on the power of our words. The LORD gave me a visual picture of what negative words to do our heart. I had this glass jar in the shape of a heart and for everytime I said a negative word I would put a rock into the jar. The jar began to fill up quickly. What must a heart look like of a grown man/woman who has heard nothing but negative words all his/her life. It becomes very hard. They say that for every negative word spoken, we must say ten positive words to counteract the negative one. What would a heart filled with only positive, edifying words look like? What would the world look?
“You will see my life through your eyes as your life will be seen through mine.” I love this quote. It is so profound if you really take a moment to think about it. This is the Father speaking to us. Its all in how you see things. We do see things through God’s eyes, but we don’t always see God correctly. We stop only at seeing His life through our eyes, but never seeing our life through His. Unfortunately, we have wrong thinking on who God is and that effects how we think he sees us. He sees us through the eyes of faith, just as we must see Him through the eyes of faith.
This is the kind of relationship He wants with us. For us to see Him as He truly is and for us to see ourselves as He truly sees us. This is the kind of relationship Jesus had with the Father. He knew who the Father was and He knew who He was. Jesus knew how the Father saw Him because He knew the Father intimately. John 10:30 “I and my Father are one.” He was the heart of the Father in human form. God’s life seen through Jesus’ eyes as Jesus’ life was seen through God’s.
He sings over you. He dances over you. His banner over you is Love. You are written on His sleeve and on the palm of His hand. You are the apple of His eye. Chosen by Him. Accepted by Him. You are His beloved. He has many thoughts of you and they are all good. He know the number of hairs on your head. He is in your midst. In Him you move and breathe. He holds you in His everlasting arms. He will not let you go.
Don’t you hear Him knocking?
Won’t you let Him in?
Questions…
Why am I afraid of them? I must ask questions to know what I really believe. I can only imitate those around me for so long. There will come a day when I will have to know what I truly believe for myself. Once I get to that point, the world won’t change me, but I will change the world. It is what we believe that really matters.
My mother, Chela Gomez
Outgoing and fun. High heels clicking on the road. Loves the color red. Loves to dance. Early mornings drinking coffee. Broken by death and divorce. Bold and concealed. Proud and hospitable. Pushing a shopping cart in winter. Silk stalkings. Smoker. Going to the doctor on the bus. Free and bound. Stopping to buy a bag of smoked almonds. Cleaning fish and cooking. Lots of laughter. Dancing. Afraid of the camera. Visiting the neighbors. Loved by all. Chanel #5. Plants everywhere. Silk dresses and red lipstick. Modest and strong. Black thick hair. Searching. Speaks her mind. Rubbing my head on the couch. A gift giver. Wounded and healed.
This is my Mother.
I felt alone after my parents divorced. My sisters had moved out and it was just my brother and I. I felt like I no longer had parents. It has taken me many years to face so many aspects of my adolescents. I still feel like that little girl who wants the relationship that I lost when my Father went away. I regret so many things, mostly taking my family for granted when I had them. I wish with all my heart that I could go back in time. I know now that it is not possible. We cannot go back we can only go forward. Thank God I can learn from that experience and look at all I have now. I still find myself looking back a lot, but one day I won’t feel the need anymore. Little by little I am being healed of a wound that cut so deep. Layer by layer it is being healed.
When I met my husband, I didn’t know that God was giving me a special gift. I felt so sad for so long. My husband is like a balm for my pain. He helps me to understand who I really am. I can’t believe that I was given such a beautiful gift. I am no exception to “biting and devouring” others, I sometimes forget what I have. I take for granted those I love, so I ask God to help me to be a better person. I love that about God, He can give us another chance. “His mercies are new every morning.”
The Lord also gave me the parents that I never had. My mother-in-law is my mentor and one of my most treasured friends. She has been a light to me these seventeen years. My father-in-law has treated me like he would his own daughter. I can’t believe that God brought me into their family. They have been the family I never had in so many ways. It is still hard sometimes to let go of the family I once had, but if I only look around I can see the family God has given me today.
There is a God out their who can redeem your life. He does it in the most amazing ways. Look at me.
Our words have lasting effects. They go beyond a physical blow. At least the physical heals, but words stay forever. One negative word can cause us to go back into the cycle. We might be doing well that day and all of a sudden we remember what was said to us and we think, that must be who I am.
I was told I was selfish all my childhood. I tried so hard to please God with my good works so He wouldn’t think I was selfish anymore. I felt unclean, so that was my penance. Its all a lie. Why is it so hard to get off this merry-go-round? Why do we, “bite and devour one another?” Words do have the power of life and death.
I never knew the significance in a name until a few years ago. I was attending an Ancient Paths Seminar and I learned the meaning of my name. I thought at first, is this really me? But in time I began to see that I wasn’t named Jennifer Elizabeth by accident. Jennifer means fair, or without blemish. I couldn’t believe it meant without blemish because I have had terrible acne since I was twelve. Fair also means beautiful. I began to cry because I had never felt beautiful, especially with all that acne on my face. I began to believe it was true and my acne began clearing up considerably. My middle name is Elizabeth, which means devoted or consecrated. I belong to God. All I ever really wanted was to belong. Learning what my name means and believing it is truly a process. Some days, I forget, but then there are days like today when He reminds me. 
The Bible says we are white as snow, we are all blemish free before Him!
One day a few years ago, I woke up in the middle of the night and I looked at my clock. The time said 3:33, I felt like it meant something. So I got out my Bible and I asked God, “What does this number mean?” I felt like He lead me to Jeremiah 33:3, “Call upon Me and I will show you great and mighty things.” Since then, He has lead me to other scriptures based on the time. I noticed a pattern. The next time it was 4:44. I asked Him again, “What does this number mean?” He lead me to Isaiah 4:44, “Your are my King, O God. Command victories for Jacob (Me).” Now everytime I see the time and it says 3:33 or 4:44, I remember those scriptures and I say them back to Him in a prayer. I feel like it is His way of showing me that He is here with me. I’m not alone. And I look up and smile! 